Why we eat what we eat …

This post was written by Jan on July 10, 2009
Posted Under: Fitness, Humour

fruitveg2

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums.

And Satan said ‘You want hot fudge with that?  And Man said ‘Yes!’

And Woman said ‘I’ll have one too with chocolate chips’.  And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.

And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.  So God said ‘Try my fresh green salad’.

And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.fat-person

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said ‘I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them’.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter.

And Man’s cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.

And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.fast-food

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99¢ double cheeseburger.  Then Satan said ‘You want fries with that?’ and Man replied ‘Yes, And super size ‘em’.

And Satan said ‘It is good.’

And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ………  And created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then  ………… Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

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Reader Comments

Ha ha, the overall thing was pretty funny, but the last line really got a laugh out of me :)
E.L.´s last blog ..Linked In: High Carbohydrate Foods Can Cause Heart Attacks! My ComLuv Profile

#1 
Written By E.L. on July 11th, 2009 @ 12:31 am

That is hilarious!!! And, yes, I KNEW that Satan created the 99c double cheeseburger!!! Who else could it be??? ;D

I’m also convinced that he was the head consultant during the creation of every single flavor of Haagen Dazs….. ;)

Very funny, very cute article! :D
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#2 
Written By The Fitness Diva on July 11th, 2009 @ 4:09 am

Love it! Oh, my goodness I laughed so hard. Thanks for sharing.
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#3 
Written By Jen on July 11th, 2009 @ 2:22 pm

I absolutely love this Jan.

I hope you and Dave have a blessed and wonderful weekend.
God bless,
Jodi
Jodi´s last blog ..Out Of The Mouths Of Babes! My ComLuv Profile

#4 
Written By Jodi on July 12th, 2009 @ 12:11 am

That line about NHS made me laugh, indeed, how true! not that I had a bad experience with it… but it was close! Thanks for sharing a good laugh!

#6 
Written By chriss on July 12th, 2009 @ 4:56 pm

Oh yes he makes me crave ice cream . We take a walk to the corner (about a mile) and there it is the ice cream store. Walk back and the whole walking was in vain.
Very funny post.
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#7 
Written By Grampy on July 12th, 2009 @ 8:43 pm

HA!! I’ve enjoyed this one in an email, and am pleased to get to giggle about it again. It’s a good one. Thanks for sharing. :)
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#8 
Written By Grandy on July 13th, 2009 @ 5:17 am

I think it is really funny, and sounds about right!
Though if I were satan, I would have put marshmellows and whip cream on the ice cream!
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#9 
Written By Chris Casey on July 13th, 2009 @ 7:22 am

OMG!!!! This is too funny. And SO TRUE!!!

By the way, I like your blog. I don’t comment too much (I babysit a houseful of kids, enough said!) but I enjoy your articles. I have herniated spinal disks and deterioration of the disks, so I get a lot out of your articles! Thanks!!!
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#10 
Written By Mrs. Mecomber on July 13th, 2009 @ 9:31 am

Thank you. I learn a lot from your site also.

#11 
Written By Jan on July 13th, 2009 @ 2:52 pm

Totally hilarious way of getting your point across.
Where did you happen to find that bible :)

#12 
Written By Dorothy L on July 14th, 2009 @ 4:20 am

So true, so true, Love that. Too Funny.
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#13 
Written By A Mom's Choice on July 17th, 2009 @ 5:22 am
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